i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize