dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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