K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
