grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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