It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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