you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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