Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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