and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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