I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
