You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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