I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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