I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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