Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
