Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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