i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
