respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize