rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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