She's JV to your varsity
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
