you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
