when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
