Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
