Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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