Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
