I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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