also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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