South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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