I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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