I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
