you have to choose: penises or morals?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
