Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
