oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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