i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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