one two three fourrrrnication!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
is it fun? or sober?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
