so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
