he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
