Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
