Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
