I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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