He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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