I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
