How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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