So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize