in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
