I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
