All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
