i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this just has baby written all over it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
