you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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