I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
