WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
