Ambien. No doubt about it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
