I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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