i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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