Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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