Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
