I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
