let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
