We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
