Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
