i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can you bring me the toilet please
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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