Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
