i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
